What I learned on my summer vacation

This past weekend, I took my family to Pittsburgh to visit some friends. After going to a Pirates game on Sunday, we spent some time in a square with a huge fountain. Kids were playing in the fountain and so my oldest son Max wanted to jump in as well.

When Max asked, we said, "No." We had a long trip home in front of us and we were tired after a day that had included moving from one event to the other. Our "No" came more from fatigue than having a problem with Max jumping in the fountain. My wife and I both enjoy when our kids have fun and just enjoy life. After a couple of asks, my son Max received a "Wait." My wife Mia told Max to wait and that she would talk to me as I had stepped away to get some pizza.

Instead of waiting, Max jumped in the water anyway. Max played for a while before we made him get out and put him in time out. Max then asked, "When can I go back in?" I decided he couldn't go back in and told him I couldn't reward him for his disobedience. Then Max said in a voice that melted my heart, "I want to go back and play with my friend." Despite my empathy for him, I didn't feel I could reward him. Sometimes it is jokingly said when disciplining a child, "This is going to hurt me more than it hurts you." Not allowing Max to go back in play hurt me more than him.

Yet, looking back I think two positive outcomes have come to not giving into the feeling of that moment.

First, over the last couple of days I think I have greater compassion for Max. In a strange way, it has filled me with more sympathy for him because I see the purity of his heart that even though he disobeyed me, he really just wanted to have fun and play with a friend. He disobeyed because he didn't have a way forward, he didn't have a skills to handle the situation of wanting a good thing, but being told no by his parents.

This leads to the second positive outcome of the situation. Yesterday, we told Max that this is what he is to do when he asks for something and he gets a "No." He is to say, "I will do what you want, but will you please reconsider." I based this off Jesus' prayer when he experiences the Agony in the Garden, where Jesus states clearly what he wants but tells his Father he will do his will.

Then yesterday, Max used the line and when I still said, "No" he accepted the answer.

One last thought - this is why we have to read the Scriptures and allow them to permeate our hearts. The Holy Spirit just spoke to me about the passage and made the connection. As we read the Scriptures and pray through them, God's word becomes more relevant and practical to our lives. We see how God is living and active.