In January, Nativity will be doing a series called “The Rules of Happiness.” We have based it on a book by Henry Cloud. I just discovered when trying to buy it for a Christmas gift that the printed version won’t come out until after Christmas, but it is available on Kindle.
Henry Cloud is a psychologist and the book is based on what he sees as the intersection between psychological research on happiness and the teachings of Scripture. He lists fourteen rules for happiness. These are disciplines, attitudes and actions we can pursue in order to be happy.
As I was reading the book, I continued to discover paradoxes. Earlier in the week I noted that happy people are givers, but have clear boundaries. Here’s another paradoxical truth about happiness according to Cloud – happy people live in the moment and yet they pursue goals.
Happy people live in the moment, which is the only time we have, the only place we can really embrace life. They don’t wait for some day to be happy, but find joy in the present moment. One of the practices I have tried to implement since reading his book is to simply savor the food I am eating. I tend to rush through eating or consuming food. It might be more accurate to say I attack it. With pizza I’ll wolf down the first couple of slices so that I begin to feel full and then try and enjoy the third or fourth. Lately, I have been trying (not necessarily succeeding) to simply savor what I am eating and thank God for it, especially my morning coffee.
The point of savoring food or savoring any part of life is to help us be present. Missionary Jim Elliot said, “Wherever you are, be all there.” Research has shown that happy people are present to the now and not living in the past or the future. This is why Jesus told us to simply focus on the cares of the day and not worry about tomorrow.
We are not to worry about tomorrow and yet research shows happy people set goals for themselves. We need a vision for the future. We need to set goals and challenge ourselves to overcome obstacles. Setting goals and struggling to reach them forces us to grow our character. Seeing progress towards a goal or seeing a vision come to fruition is immensely satisfying. Researcher Sonja Lyumbomirsky says, “Find a happy person and you will find a project.”
I struggle to articulate how both living in the moment and setting goals can both make us happy. Here’s my attempt. Happy people enjoy the process of setting goals and the time in the present of envisioning a better future. They then enjoy the process and the struggle of meeting their goals. The process is not viewed as something to simply endure or get through, but appreciated. Then when they reach their goals they celebrate them before moving on to the next goal. Whether planning for the future goal, working on the goal or celebrating the achievement of the goal, they savor where they are in the process. Process isn't a dirty word to them, but part of life to be savored.
What goals or projects are you working on that contribute to your happiness? What does savoring the present moment look like in your life?
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