CS Lewis wrote, "A man never knows how bad he is until he tries very hard to be good." I believe the quote is from Mere Christianity. In any case, that quote has always stuck out to me and appears to be yet another paradox. You don't discover your wickedness or propensity towards evil when you do evil, but when you try and do good.
Saint Paul put it this way, "So I find this law at work: Although I want to do good, evil is right there with me. Romans 7:21
You notice how bad your eating habits are when you try to change them and lose weight. Suddenly you become aware of how often you are eating fatty foods. You realize how much of a problem you have in being straight-forward and transparent when you try to be more straight-forward and transparent. Suddenly, you notice the times you aren’t completely honest with people.
You know how little you encourage your spouse or children, when you make it a goal to encourage your spouse and children. If you work harder on trying to tell the truth, you will notice more often when you lie or bend the truth.
Start to work on something and you will see how you are failing at it. This failure is good. Seeing that evil will fight against us is good because the power of evil and sin was there all along, we just were numb to it and didn't notice. Knowing our "badness" begins to break the delusion we have that we are self-sufficient. When we try to change and evil shows up and even overpowers us, we are awakening to the reality that we need a SAVIOR.
Paul later goes on in Romans to say, “Oh what a wretched man that I am! Who will deliver from this body of death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord!”
Are there areas of your life that you are struggling to change? If you are failing, don't let that depress you. Let it drive you to your knees that you have a Savior in Jesus Christ who can change and transform you. Thank you, Jesus, for being our Savior.
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