Little Things Are Big Things But...

I discovered a new paradox this weekend. Actually it is two paradoxes – a paradox within a larger paradox. Little things are big things, but avoid majoring on the minors. So let’s break that down into three sections: first the paradox of little things are big things, second, why we need to avoid majoring on the minors and third, how to live the tension between these two ideas.

Little things are big things. The small details of life often make a big difference; this in itself is a paradox. When a person you met one time remembers your name that makes a big difference. When businesses or organizations go a little bit out of their way to make you feel comfortable or show you a little extra attention, we are impressed by them. Those little touches bring us back again and again.

On a weekend at Church, we try and do a bunch of little things for people – smile at them when they come in the door, help them park their car easily, direct them to a seat, provide a clean environment, serve coffee and have a place for their kids to go and learn about God. None of those are huge things, but taken together the little things add up and if we do them well, we create a great relationship that earns a right to be heard.

In personal relationships, small deposits of time add up. It is a little thing for me to come home and hug my wife before getting food or getting changed, but it makes a big difference. It is a little thing for me to stop into a co-worker’s office and ask how things are going or make a connection by talking about a game. It is a little thing to compliment someone or say you appreciated someone else’s efforts, but it makes a huge difference in the long run.

Changes and turning around our situations often come from little changes. I dropped a little over twenty pounds just by some small changes I made to my diet: not eating French fries, taking only one plate instead of two at our Monday staff lunches, and just cutting back a little bit on portion size. Little changes over time can eventually bring about big results.

Second part of the paradox: Don’t major on the minors. When we get too focused or make too big a deal out of small things then we rob ourselves of joy, waste time and become ineffective. In relationship, dwelling on another person’s small faults will cause us to become critical and damage the relationship. Organizations that major on the minors waste so much time on things that will make no impact on anyone. Often, this majoring on the minors is over turf wars or building up silos or arguing over things that only matter to insiders, but won’t impact people outside the organization.

Third, how do we manage the tension between these two? How do you know when you are paying attention to the little things that are big things or when you are majoring on the minor? We look at the outcome or fruit of our efforts. If you stop in and say hello to a co-worker or employee, the eventual fruit will be an increase in morale and a better relationship that comes with very little cost of time or energy. Majoring on the minor will feel like a huge investment of energy and at the end of the day doesn’t accomplish very much.

To manage this paradox, we develop a deep sense of purpose and why we exist. When we know the mission of our organization or why God has put us on the earth, we will know see more clearly the little things that really matter and when we are majoring on the minors.

What little things are big things in your life? Where do you have to avoid majoring on the minors?